Medio Pomelo

Anything that keeps us away from television must be good.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Irritation of the Day

(Right. Here is the thing. I said I would not write for a while but I have changed my mind. (Is that cheering in the background?!) Gingerman might think it was a catch for him to stop reading the blog, but actually, I have only just thought of that. (Thinking of it now: not a bad idea at all.)
What happens is this: 2 years ago I went through a rough period when I stopped writing. It was nothing out of the ordinary really (self-loathing, self-pitying, shit-bottling, a time of anti-creativeness). But then when the feelings were gone the writing still would not return. I didn't trust that I could possibly post anything of any value or interest. I was thinking about it today and decided not to repeat that time. I will try and bring some life back into the medio pomelo, which, sadly, has been drying up recently. )

The topic I wanted to write about is gonna be something as little related to my love-life as possible, at least for now, and sorry for the disappointment. I wanted to write about unsolicited advice and this colleague of mine whose name is M.
M is a nice girl. She is bubbly, knowledgeable, trustworthy, hardworking, happily married and badly overweight. Still, she has the self-confidence to give expert advice to ANYONE in the office canteen on the right eating patterns, healthy and unhealthy diets, good and bad fitness regimes. (Good for her, I would love to say, but I can't because I'm too annoyed. She does spoil my meals on a regular basis!!!) She doesn't do it in a nasty way or anything but she loves to CORRECT us all, lost individuals who are
-following a new diet
-trying to cut down on meat
-trying to cut down on carbohydrates
-vegetarians
-don't follow any patterns at all.

The list could go on, she has a word of unsolicited advice to ANYONE who eats ANYTHING. I also must admit she does know a lot of stuff about minerals and proteins and calorie count but… her advice brings the worst irritated bitch out of me because a) I never asked for her advice and b) it sounds so wrong coming from her. It's like the alcoholic psychologist who tries to help someone fight their addiction or the impotent neurologist who provides mental and physical support to the impotent. Or it could be me going around and telling everyone how to have a fulfilling and successful relationship...

Maybe I'm wrong and these are the right people for that sort of help. After all, they ARE the subject matter experts themselves for having been there, facing the problem for real. But somehow I don't believe them.


I feel nasty I wrote this. Especially knowing that surprise guests can turn up on the doorstep of my blog for a good old read. But it is something that has been bugging me for a while. And all the assertive-communication training in the world would not enable me to ask her in a politically correct and constructive way to stop giving me diet advice as long as she doesn't look fit to do the job.

8 Comments:

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Tiffanie said…

    I agree with this post. Thanks for writing it. It reminds me to keep my OWN mouth shut sometimes... LOL.

     
  • At 9:10 PM, Blogger po said…

    Yay! I think it is a good idea to keep writing through the noncreatvie times, even if it is just a habit, then when the creativity hits, it will not be so hard!

     
  • At 3:27 PM, Blogger Sebastián Leonangeli said…

    Don't let the pomelo dry! :)
    It's sooo true what you say, people should learn about the value of silence. Sometimes it helps more than an advice.
    Besos Dora!

     
  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Doreen said…

    hmm... how about just being brutally honest? something along the lines of... 'look, thanks for the advice, but i really, REALLY do wanna eat whatever i please cos it makes me happy like that. you want me to be happy don't you?'

    :P

    cos i don't think that there is a politically correct/ diplomatic way to go about this. or at least i can't think of how!

     
  • At 8:08 AM, Blogger Sid said…

    Been there. Well the woman who used to do this wasn't happily married. Divorced. Definitely overweight and offering unwanted diet advice.

     
  • At 11:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Maybe, like Sid says, she herself is going through some troubling times, and she's just reflecting her problems onto other people...

     
  • At 12:51 PM, Blogger Rod said…

    We have a new member on the team where I work who was sick for a couple of weeks just as she was about to join us...so she came late. Now I dont know if it's because she feels like she's behind the 8-ball but ever since she walked through the door she's been on this power trip...dispensing free (& unwanted)advice to anyone who will listen. The rest of us don't want her to feel marginalised so we basically just grin and bear it but I know the day is coming when someone is gonna blow a fuse. Then she will be wondering "why me?"...

     
  • At 12:34 AM, Blogger Medio Pomelo said…

    Tiff: it actually reminded me too! I too play the irritatingly clever one sometimes! :)
    Po: I'm trying... Thanks for the encouragement.
    Seba: True, I think people looooove listening to their own voice!
    Doreen: that IS a very correct way to communicate this :)Good tip!
    Sid, Dora, I think it might be her way of compensating for failing those diets. That's why I felt bad writing about it.
    Rod: arrrgh! Too bad! What would my and your colleagues do if they knew each other, I wonder... Probably getting irritated by the other!

     

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