Happiness and other related hopeless topics (again)
I saw Revolutionary Road over the weekend. I don't want to get into too many details about the film other than that it scored a humble 10/10 on my scale of good movies. It has made me think about happiness, relationships, fulfilling dreams, failure and the hopeless emptiness that is the core theme of the movie. It gave me lot to think about. And I came to the following consequence as a result of all the hard thinking and as a result of my recent break with Gingerman.
A happy life does not exist.
As simply as that. With a full stop at the end to exclude any doubts.
In our lives there are happy moments, days, maybe weeks even. But a happy life is something that is as imaginary as the talking donkey in Shrek.
I now reduced an entire dictionary into two adjectives to describe human life around me:
a) unhappy
and
b) OK.
I guess it is not far from what animals experience in their lives. When a lion is forced into a 16 square meter cage it is unhappy. And when it lives in the vast savannah it is still NOT happy. It's OK. It lives its life and that's that. So that's probably the maximum I should fight for too. Looking for happiness and not finding it does make me frustrated and dispirited. Maybe I should stop the looking and strive for the still hard-to-achieve OK.
A happy life does not exist.
As simply as that. With a full stop at the end to exclude any doubts.
In our lives there are happy moments, days, maybe weeks even. But a happy life is something that is as imaginary as the talking donkey in Shrek.
I now reduced an entire dictionary into two adjectives to describe human life around me:
a) unhappy
and
b) OK.
I guess it is not far from what animals experience in their lives. When a lion is forced into a 16 square meter cage it is unhappy. And when it lives in the vast savannah it is still NOT happy. It's OK. It lives its life and that's that. So that's probably the maximum I should fight for too. Looking for happiness and not finding it does make me frustrated and dispirited. Maybe I should stop the looking and strive for the still hard-to-achieve OK.
How does that sound for an ambition? It sounds crap. But it sounds true for some reason. I'm not even sad to come to this realisation. I feel quite relieved. After all, this might be the way out of the desperate search into a state that only exists in soap operas and in my own imagination.
posted by Medio Pomelo @ 25.1.09
6 Comments:
At 10:36 PM,
po said…
This is very realistic. When I say I jsut want to be happy, what I really mean is that I want on average, more happy times than bad. But I think even that is unrealistic. Could we aim to be contented? I guess we can aim to minimise unhappiness, because being OK is, well, OK.
At 4:09 PM,
Tiffanie said…
What about peaceful? Do you think it's realistic to live a peaceful life? To have that inner peace?
At 7:56 PM,
Medio Pomelo said…
Po: minimise unhappiness is probably the key for me. I have been trying to maximise happiness, which obviously, does not work.
Tiff: inner peace.... oooooh.... aaaaah.... i want mine back! I date my real, mostly happy times till someone took my inner peace away. I think parents should look out for that person more than for the guy who takes your virginity away.
At 9:36 PM,
wicklowbetyár said…
A happy life seems like a lot to ask for. How about a good, fulfilling one?
I think that's possible - not that I'm near living one recently.
Being OK is a good start...
I lately came across something that - I feel - relates to this and to a conversation we've had. It's from a blog too:
http://jackieinireland.blogspot.com/2008/09/time-out-for-sec.html
Well? It sounds very in-your-face but for me there's a grain of truth in it.
I'll certainly go and see the movie soon :)
At 8:12 PM,
T.H. Elliott said…
I think once you find okay, happiness follows without you realizing it. Sometimes I get moments where I'll realize how lucky I am about one thing, or happy, and it makes everything else a little better. It could be as silly as walking outside to a beautiful day.
At 7:32 PM,
Anonymous said…
You know what, when I first read this, I didn't really understand it. One of my first thoughts was: How depressing.
But in recent days, I find myself thinking back to your post and I've suddenly realize how true it is.
I've been chasing happiness for so long, and I always thought, if only I have this, I'll be happier. Or if only I attain that, I'll be happier.
But just these few days, I've realized that no matter how much material things you have, no matter how high on the social ladder you climb, there will always be something that you can't have, there is always something you aren't happy about, and there is always something that is not right.
It's hit me, and so I realize, there really is no point chasing it anymore.
Accept the current situation, the now. Because it won't get any better.
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